Dancing’s Most Embarrassing Moments (So Far)

Considering that I’ve only been doing this dance thing for about six weeks and I already have several terribly embarrassing incidents to report, this is clearly destined to become a Top Ten list.  But for now, here are three humiliating episodes listed from least embarrassing to most:

3.  Elbowing Dance Partner in the Face While Twirling

I honestly don’t know how this happened.  I didn’t think I was such a spaz with my arms, but apparently I am.  It occurred while dancing with one of my favorite partners, Jim, who’s very skilled and fun to dance with despite the fact that he’s substantially shorter than I am.  Which I guess explains how it was possible for my bent elbow to be at the level of his face when he spun me around.  All I know is I heard a loud *whack* and finished the twirl to see Jim looking shocked and dazed.  I expressed my profuse apologies but he insisted on valiantly finishing out the song with me, twirling me a bit less after that.  Needless to say, he didn’t seek me out for any more dances that night.

2.  Dress Comes Off  (imagine what #1 must be like if this is only number #2)

I thought my j.crew sanur convertible dress was perfect for dancing: lots of twirl, a super comfortable cotton and spandex fabric:

Cute, right?  It’s convertible, so it can be worn as a dress or a skirt, which is great… UNLESS it goes from dress to skirt in the course of one dance!  Apparently the heel of my shoe snagged the back of my dress during a dip, so that as I walked off the dance floor my dress was now below my bra.  Thank GOD that bra was roughly the same color as the dress and the lights were dim, so it’s possible that nobody noticed, and I was able to pull it back up pretty fast.  But oh. my. god.

1.  “Did You Bring A Towel?”

I’m not normally prone to prolific sweating, so when one of my dance partners asked if I had brought a towel, the only thing I could imagine was that he was looking for one to borrow for himself.  But that would be kind of gross, so why didn’t it occur to me to do a quick reality check on the activity of my own sweat glands?  Instead, I danced quite a few more songs before finally taking a bathroom break at which point I noticed that my shirt had prominent, massive sweat stains under my armpits.  And I must have flashed these armpits hundreds of times as my arm was lifted up time and time again for a turn.  Now, a quick investigation into the properties of various fabrics reveals that the “modal fabric” of the shirt I donned (modal is essentially a variety of rayon) is 50% more water-absorbent than cotton–  NOT an optimal characteristic when you’re going to be dancing for three hours straight.  Anyway, I was so mortified that I made a bee-line for the door, avoiding even saying goodbye to someone to whom I really should have said goodbye.  I wanted to bury my head in the sand.

So, to review:

Don’t wear rayon fabrics when you’re doing any sweat-prone activity.  If you’re going to wear a strapless dress dancing, do a “tug test” to make sure that the dress can’t easily fall down.  And finally, keep your elbows to yourself.

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